Voice of Reason
|Posted on February 1, 2016 at 11:00 PM|
What gives you the right to act this way towards me? How dare you say those things, think those thoughts, and treat me rudely. I don’t say a word to you and yet you feel it is your right to talk to me in that manner.
How many of you out there in facebook land have felt like this? I am tired of people thinking that it is okay to say whatever comes to their minds – from what clothes I wear to how I treat my children. I think we all have to be conscientious of the words we use to others.
I have a pair of leggings that are my go to pants. I actually have two pairs but the one pair are quite bright. They are the softest material you can imagine and if my fibro is flaring I wear them because they don’t feel like pins sticking in my legs. I was out a couple times in them and have had people comment on – “Oh, how bright they are!” or “Wow you really think wearing spandex is smart?” First off they are not spandex hence why I can wear them. Second, I don’t comment on the clothes that you wear so why do you feel the need to comment on mine, especially if it is rude? Third, how does it actually affect your life what I wear? Oh yeah, it doesn’t!!!!! All you managed to do is make me feel self-conscious because of course you said what you did in front of people and I was already having a crappy day because I wasn’t feeling well from my fibro (Which I might add is another topic of why do you feel I need you opinion?).
I am sick of people judging me over a chronic illness. Do you think I want to feel this way? How about you get beat with a baseball bat, have your spine welded together, don’t sleep, and wear an outfit that is made out of pink insulation. If you can do all that you might have an idea of what my life is like when I am flaring from fibro. I do not sit and wallow. I do what has to be done but sometimes I have to bow out of certain activities so I can keep the energy I have for the things that really matter. So the next time you think I am being lazy because I won’t volunteer at that bottle drive, or go out with a bunch of people for the night, or take on that position you want me to – STOP! I just may not be able to. And, I know from speaking to others with my fibro they feel the same way. We look good on the outside but on the inside we are breaking.
I do not coddle my children. I look after my children. If that means I spend the extra time with them when they are sick or not feeling up to dealing with things so be it. My children are my number one priority. You raise your children the way you want and I will do the same. Do not accuse my children of being spoiled or babied. They are loved and guided. Under no circumstances should anyone get between a momma bear and her babies in the wild. Consider me that momma bear. When you say things to me about my kids or things to them that are hurtful or disrespectful be prepared to meet the grizzly. That’s how I roll.
I am also tired of people saying things like – “Oh you can afford It.”,” It must be nice to be rich.”, “I wish I was lucky like you.” Again none of your business what I have and don’t have. But, let me tell you this nothing was from luck. My husband has worked his butt off for his family and I have supported him 100% along the way. We are a team that worked hard together nothing was handed to us.
Yes it has been nice in my life to stay at home with my kids. It grates my nerves when someone asks what I do for a living and I tell them I am a stay at home mom and they have the audacity to reply, “OH you just stay at home?” YES I DO! And because I do throughout the years when volunteers have been needed for school to sports to community activities who do people call? The stay at home mom because she has all the time in the world. It doesn’t matter that when my kids were little I would get up at 4:30 in the morning to work on my company books, devise a safe work plan, or get payroll done before they were up and about. I became proficient when Josh was a baby at typing rig reports on the computer when Clarence got home at 11:00 pm and breast feeding at the same time. Some people have the nearsightedness to think that I stay at home eating bon bons and watching soap operas.
I take holidays with my family. I am sick to death of being judged because I take my kids from school or their activities to go on a family holiday. We go when Clarence can and if that means they miss some things they miss them. My children are only mine for a short time before they grow up and start their own lives. I am going to do what I can with them when I can! Not only that I really think some people are so condescending about this because they are jealous we get to go and they don’t. Do not judge your value by what someone else is doing. We all have important moments, activities, and opportunities in our lives. The worst thing a person can do is use a measuring stick that is fitted to someone else. Do your own thing and don’t worry about what someone else is doing.
Here is a huge one for me – DO NOT BE SNIDE TO ME OVER MY RELIGION. Do not go out of your way to cut down the basis of what my life is built on. This is possibly the most upsetting things to me. I have a very strong Christian Faith. Do not question my God to me. Do not call me names and do not tell me I am naïve. I am wiser than you can imagine. My life purpose is tied to my religion and if you make fun of my Faith you are making fun of my life.
I think that I have rambled on long enough. I am not sure why I felt I had to purge but I really did. Too many things having been piling up. I need to reflect on the things I have talked about in this blog and make sure that I am not behaving the same way or hurting others by my careless words. I know that I have in the past. Honestly, as recently as last month. I get focussed on something and I barrel ahead. If you don’t keep up with me I get frustrated and it is very obvious. I did this to a member of my family and I had to apologize to her because I steam rolled over everyone to get things done instead of taking my time.
I challenge you to go out and tell someone they look nice this week, or ask a friend that has been on a special trip to see their pictures, or read an article on chronic pain disorders and imagine what some people live with. Go show a great side of you! I know you have it in you!